Venue: DCU Center (Worcester, MA)
Commentators: Michael Cole, JBL, & The Miz
The New Age Outlaws won’t go away as they are in action again this week taking on WWE Tag Team Champs Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Also on the show Bray Wyatt speaks on Daniel Bryan‘s betrayal, CM Punk wants to talk with The Authority, and much more.
Read on for my recap/review of the show.
Match Results
- Non-Title Match: The New Age Outlaws defeated *WWE Tag Team Champions* Cody Rhodes & Goldust when Billy Gunn pinned Rhodes with a roll-up (4:43).
- Rey Mysterio defeated Alberto Del Rio via pinfall with a roll-up (4:49 shown).
- Naomi [w/ Cameron] defeated Tamina Snuka [w/ *WWE Divas Champion* AJ Lee] via pinfall with the Split-Legged Moonsault (2:35).
- Non-Title Match: *WWE Intercontinental Champion* Big E Langston defeated Fandango [w/ Summer Rae] via pinfall with the BIG ENDING (4:17).
- The Usos defeated The Real Americans [w/ Zeb Colter] when Jimmy Uso pinned Jack Swagger with the SUPERFLY SPLASH (6:08 shown).
*****
GRAPHIC: “In Memory of Johnnie Mae Young 1923-2014”
—–
-WWE: Then. Now. Forever.-
—–
We go “live” to the arena as Michael Cole welcomes the home audience. “Oh You Didn’t Know” brings out The New Age Outlaws for the opening contest. We cut to the announce table where Cole is joined by usual partner JBL and special guest The Miz. We see clips of NAO turning on CM Punk at RAW. We cut back to the ring where Road Dogg has a live mic. He does the usual NAO intro. “Gold and Smoke” brings out their opponents, the WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Goldust.
—–
Match #1: *WWE Tag Team Champions* Cody Rhodes & Goldust Vs. The New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg & Billy Gunn) in a NON-TITLE MATCH
Goldust and Dogg start. Dogg backs Goldust into the corner and tries for a cheap shot but Goldust ducks and catches him with a right hand. Dogg offers his hand then kicks Goldust in the gut. He commences with the dance jabs but Goldust ducks the final and connects with rights of his own. Goldust hits a couple of rights in the corner mount until Dogg knocks him. Dogg whips Goldust into the corner, who jumps to the middle turnbuckle and catches him with a back elbow. Gunn tags in and gets backdropped out to the floor veeeeery sloooowly. Dogg tags in and tries to send Rhodes off the apron but he blocks it and hits a right. Dogg turns around and runs into a powerslam.
Gunn tags in but so does Rhodes. Rhodes catches Gunn with back to back clotheslines followed by the drop down jab. Rhodes rolls Gunn up in the corner sunset flip but he kicks out immediately. Dogg tries to intervene and Rhodes hits them both with a springboard missile dropkick. Rhodes covers for the 1…2…Dogg interferes. Goldust clotheslines him and himself out to the floor. Gunn catches Rhodes with an elbow and goes for the FAMEASSER but Rhodes escapes and goes for the Cross Rhodes. Gunn counters and takes Rhodes down with a tilt-a-whirl slam, covering for the 1…2…kickout. Gunn picks Rhodes up and goes for the Fameasser again but Rhodes ducks out, ducks a clothesline, then hits Gunn with the DISASTER KICK.
An “EXCUUUUSE ME!” brings out Vickie Guerrero. Guerrero is here to remind everyone that the Royal Rumble match happens in 9 days and it’ll be everyone for themselves. She brings up that Rhodes and Goldust will even have to face one another, and this distraction allows Gunn to roll Rhodes up for the 1…2…3.
Winners [via Pinfall]: The New Age Outlaws (4:43)
- Jon’s Thoughts: Dumb ending to a dull match and the worse team got the victory to boot. I didn’t like anything about this one except for JBL shutting down every joke attempt from The Miz. He might just kill him by the end of the show.
—–
Backstage Interview Area
Renee Young is standing by with CM Punk. Young says she’s heard rumors that he’s calling out all three members of The Shield. Punk confirms the rumor then walks off.
- Jon’s Thoughts: Is this a rerun?
—–
We go to a different area backstage where Paul Heyman is walking around. He’s coming out to the ring next!
—–
-Commercial Break-
—–
Paul Heyman: Hype Machine
Paul Heyman makes his way out to the ring with no music. Heyman introduces himself, then says he stands before the WWE Universe as the advocate for BRAWWWWWK LESNAR. Heyman brings up Big Show throwing Lesnar across the ring from a few weeks ago (the crowd cheers) and says it’s part of the conspiracy BRAWWWWK LESNAR has been dealing with since he got here. Heyman says Lesnar got into a fight with Mark Henry and after fulfilling the “Eat, Sleep, Conquer, Repeat” mantra he was attacked by Show. Heyman says Show gave everyone the misleading impression that Show could be physically dominant over Lesnar. Heyman runs off Show’s physical stats then says at Royal Rumble BRAWWWWK LESNAR will conquer him. Heyman says he has been through many wars, and all of them with BRAWWWWK LESNAR by his side, then says he fears no evil for Lesnar walks next to him. Heyman says that’s why Show may try to attack with someone like Zeb Colter but not him because of who he’s with.
“Crank It Up” brings out The Big Show and Heyman doesn’t seem very confident anymore. Heyman tells Show to stop where he is and says Show doesn’t try this with him. Show runs into the ring and Heyman immediately runs and bails through the crowd. Show asks why Heyman is running if he’s so scared and fears no evil. Show says he knows Heyman and Lesnar are scared because of what happened, then we cut to Show throwing Lesnar across the ring from two weeks ago on Old School RAW. We go back live and Show says he knows Heyman is scared and lying through his yellow teeth. Show says he has a message for Lesnar: at Royal Rumble he’s knocking him out. “Crank It Up” plays as Show stares Heyman down.
- Jon’s Thoughts: A good enough segment due to Paul Heyman’s once in a lifetime ability to sell any match he wants to. The whole “Show can win because he threw Brock Lesnar once” basis for this is a little weak though, especially since there’s a whole history of these two going at it in WWE’s past. It’s like the WWE is afraid of bringing up that Brock Lesnar was an actual pro wrestler at one point before he became an MMA guy.
—–
Eva Marie announces that Rey Mysterio will face Alberto Del Rio next before blowing a kiss. What.
—–
-Commercial Break-
—–
After another video hyping Batista’s return (this Monday!), we cut to a scowling Alberto Del Rio in the ring, “Realeza 2013” playing in the background. We see a clip from Del Rio beating Rey Mysterio on Monday and cutting another Batista promo. Speak of the devil Mysterio is his opponent tonight as well and “619” plays him out to the joy of the DCU Center. Cole hypes Mysterio, Del Rio, and Miz all being in the Rumble match. Mysterio grabs a mic and says he can see in Del Rio’s eyes that he’s worried about Batista returning on Monday when he should be worried about their match right now.
—–
Match #2: Rey Mysterio Vs. Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio attacks right at the bell, choking him against the middle rope and ripping Mysterio’s t-shirt off. Del Rio goes for a kick but Mysterio dodges and he flies out to the floor. Mysterio hits a baseball kick on Del Rio then slides under the ring and splashes onto Del Rio. Mysterio rolls Del Rio in as JBL calls Miz a “one hit wonder”. Mysterio climbs to the top and Del Rio trips him up, trapping him in a tree of woe. Del Rio hits a running kick and Mysterio crashes to the mat. Del Rio is in control as we go to commercial.
-Commercial Break-
Mysterio catches Del Rio with a top-rope seated senton as we return from the break. Mysterio goes for the 619 but Del Rio gets up and connects with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker instead. Del Rio covers for a 2-count then goes for a sunset flip but Mysterio rolls through and kicks him in the head for a 2-count. Mysterio climbs to the top and Del Rio connects with an enziguri to knock him back to the mat. Del Rio covers for the 1…2…kickout. Del Rio postures to the crowd a little bit then goes for the Cross Armbreaker. Mysterio escapes and hits Del Rio with a tornado DDT for the 1…2…kickout. Del Rio connects with an armbreaker out of nowhere but Mysterio rolls through the Cross Armbreaker and sends Del Rio into the middle rope off an armdrag. Mysterio connects with the 619 but Del Rio gets the knees up when attempts the follow-up top-rope splash. Both men struggle to their feet. Del Rio pulls down his kneepad and goes for a running strike but Mysterio ducks it and rolls him up for the 1…2…3!
Winner [via Pinfall]: Rey Mysterio (4:49 shown)
- Jon’s Thoughts: Surprising result considering Del Rio is headed towards a showdown with Batista and Mysterio is just treading water until another injury unfortunately happens. Also why did Del Rio pull down his kneepad if he was going for a kick?
Post-Match: Del Rio attacks Mysterio from behind then locks in the CROSS ARMBREAKER as the official tries to break him free. Del Rio lets go and rolls to the outside to stare down the crowd. “Realeza 2013” kicks back up as Del Rio jaws at the audience a bit.
—–
-Commercial Break-
—–
“Somebody Call My Momma” plays as The Funkadactyls make their way out to the ring and Cole shills the Royal Rumble. Naomi is the one in action. We see clips from Monday where AJ Lee pinned Cameron during a tag team match. Tamina Snuka then attacked Cameron some more before Naomi cleared the ring. We cut to a shot of the crowd where NXT Diva Emma is dancing in the crowd holding up an “#EMMATAINING” sign. “Let’s Light It Up” brings out Naomi’s opponent, Tamina Snuka, accompanied by Divas Champ AJ Lee. Cole announces that Lee is now the longest-reigning Divas Champ of all-time.
- Jon’s Thoughts: Can’t wait for Emma to finally debut on the main roster. She’s awesome.
—–
Match #3: Naomi [w/ Cameron] Vs. Tamina Snuka [w/ *WWE Divas Champion* AJ Lee]
Snuka picks Naomi up and seats her on the top rope before shoving her off and onto the floor. Naomi has been eliminated from the Royal Rumble. Snuka goes to the outside and rolls Naomi back into the ring. Snuka stomps Naomi and whips her into the ropes. She goes for a back bodydrop but Naomi lands face-first super awkwardly, almost folding like an accordian. Snuka covers Naomi for a 1-count then applies a chinlock, driving the knee into the spine for added pressure. Snuka slingshots Naomi throat-first into the middle rope then whips her hard into the corner. Snuka brings Naomi out of the corner, and Naomi catches her with a right and back elbow. Naomi ducks a clothesline and catches Snuka with a spinning leg lariat. Lee trash talks on the apron as Naomi hits Snuka with a Bubba Bomb. Cameron attacks Lee and Snuka gets distracted, allowing Naomi to roll her up for the 1…2…kickout. Naomi hits Snuka with an enziguri then connects with a split-legged moonsault for the 1…2…3!
Winner [via Pinfall]: Naomi (2:35)
- Jon’s Thoughts: Awkward landing on that backdrop-ish aside this was a good showing from Naomi. She’s got one of the more entertaining movesets of the Divas division.
—–
A career retrospective video plays of the late Mae Young, narrated by Stephanie McMahon.
- Jon’s Thoughts: A really sweet video. Got a little dusty in this apartment.
—–
-Commercial Break-
—–
After some WWE Network hype we cut to the announce table where Cole, JBL, & The Miz segue into a video focusing on Daniel Bryan’s turn back to the good side on RAW.
—–
Bray Wyatt Speaks on Daniel Bryan
The Wyatt jump cut takes us out of the clip. “Live In Fear” plays as Bray Wyatt & The Wyatt Family make their way out to the ring. Wyatt sits in his rocking chair and blows out the not fire-based lantern. He stands then the trio make their way into the ring. A “DANIEL BRYAN!” chant immediately breaks out. Wyatt says as a child he wanted nothing more in life than to be powerful like his father and did his best to appease him. Wyatt says he tried to be just like him but it was never good enough, and he was never there for him. Wyatt calls the crowd “sheeple” and mocks them by bleeting. Wyatt says that his father, instead of trusting him with the kingdom, betrayed and deceived him sending him out to walk among the sheep. Wyatt says he always knew he was destined for greater things and while he was calling for help while trapped in that deep dark hole Abigail “saved” him, giving him hope and singing to him. Wyatt says he became enthralled with her beauty and obsessed with her power. Wyatt says that Abigail told him that on his path to righteousness he would be deceived again.
Wyatt says that on Monday he saw and felt the moment that Abigail had talked about; the moment where he had to sacrifice himself so he could be resurrected into the creature he was supposed to be. Wyatt says he’s already dead and Bryan’s foolish attempt to stab him in the back did nothing. Wyatt says he does not bleed like one of the people. Wyatt says that Daniel Bryan was given every chance to walk with the Reapers and now he will burn with the saints. Wyatt throws the mic, kneels down Christ-like, and mouths “Follow the Buzzards”.
- Jon’s Thoughts: Amazing promo from Bray Wyatt that acted both as a warning shot to Daniel Bryan and as a way to further build his character. Goddammit I love The Wyatt Family so much, they are on a completely different level than the rest of the WWE.
—–
Backstage Interview Area
Renee Young is standing by once again with CM Punk. Young says she’s also heard that Punk wants to call out The New Age Outlaws in addition to The Shield, and asks him which she wants. Punk says he wants all five superstars. Young asks if that’s career suicide and Punk says it’s more of a gift, a chance for The Authority to shut him up. Punk says it’s an opportunity to get what they want and one day he’ll get the opportunity to get what he wants.
- Jon’s Thoughts: CM Punk also called me out as well but they edited that part out of television.
—–
-Commercial Break-
—–
The Bella Twins appear via Diva introduction interstatial hyping the next match between Big E Langston and Fandango. One of the Bellas coaches the other on how to correctly say Fandango.
- Jon’s Thoughts: …Kill me.
—–
Big E Langston is already on the ring apron as we return to the arena. “I Need Five” plays as he concludes his entrance. “ChaChaLaLa” brings out Summer Rae who heralds the coming of Langston’s opponent Fandango. Cole hypes the 2014 WWE Hall of Fame to take place the night before Wrestlemania XXX. Langston watches the entrance at ringside with a bemused look on his face.
—–
Match #4: *WWE Intercontinental Champion* Big E Langston Vs. Fandango [w/ Summer Rae] in a NON-TITLE MATCH
Langston rolls in and the bell rings. Fandango gets in a right hand but his Irish whip attempted is reversed. Langston picks Fandango up and delivers a backbreaker. Fandango immediately bails out to the floor as Cole goes through the rules of a Royal Rumble match. Fandango runs back in and hits a series of strikes followed by a European uppercut. Langston leap frogs a running Fandango and hits a shoulder tackle, followed by a running corner shoulderblock to the midsection. Langston tries to do it again but runs into a pair of knees instead. Fandango kicks Langston out to the floor. Fandango grabs Langston’s arm between the post and whips him shoulder-first into the steel before sending him flying into the barricade.
Fandango works the injured wing over with kneedrops, then connects with a series of right hands as Rae happily claps at ringside. Fandango applies an armbar. Langston whips Fandango off but eats a dropkick and Fandango covers for a 1-count. Fandango follows up with a short-arm clothesline then reapplies the armbar. Langston gets to his feet and takes Fandango out to the floor with an armdrag. Fandango climbs to the apron and Langston hits him with a running knee. Fandango runs in and eats back to back clotheslines followed by a belly-to-belly suplex. Langston gets a running head start and hits the Warrior Splash. Langston measures Fandango and goes for the Big Ending but Fandango escapes. Fandango hits Langston with a kick but eats a midsection right hand when he attempts a second-rope move. Langston follows up with a running bodyblock, pulls the straps down, then finishes off Fandango with the BIG ENDING for the 1…2…3!
Winner [via Pinfall]: Big E Langston (4:17)
- Jon’s Thoughts: Yay Langston beat a guy he already beat when it mattered more a few weeks ago! If you can’t tell the wrestling on this show is boring me to tears. Miz and JBL almost coming to blows on commentary twice now has been pretty funny though, even if it distracts from the action at hand. In the case of this week’s show I’ll allow it.
—–
VIDEO: The Ultimate Warrior is the first member of the 2014 class for the WWE Hall Of Fame.
—–
-Commercial Break-
—–
Backstage Interview Area
Renee Young is standing by with The Shield. Young asks if they have any plan to remain a cohesive unit in the Royal Rumble match itself. Dean Ambrose says the real question is how the 27 competitors are gonna try to compete against their well-oiled machine. Young presses further, asking Ambrose if it came down to it would he throw Seth Rollins out to win the match. Ambrose asks Young if he looks untrustworthy then says he wouldn’t do it because they are best friends. Rollins cuts in and says while that’s nice, he knows Ambrose couldn’t do it anyway and he would toss him out in a second to win. Ambrose says he was kidding and would throw him out and the two start arguing before Roman Reigns shuts them up with a stare. Reigns says it’s about main eventing Wrestlemania and would throw both of them over the top in an instant. Regardless one of them will win and they will still be united…as The Shield.
- Jon’s Thoughts: A simple but effective storyline for the Royal Rumble match. I dug it. Felt old school in a way.
—–
VIDEO: The WWE Network is coming.
—–
Aksana appears via Diva interstatial to hype the Usos/Real Americans match which is next.
—–
-Commercial Break-
—–
A video plays of Kofi Kingston upsetting Randy Orton on RAW and Orton’s post-match freakout/John Cena Sr. punchfest.
—–
“Patriot” kicks up, bringing out The Real Americans who wheel Zeb Colter out. Colter is wearing a neck brace, selling the effects of Big Show’s totally unwarranted KO Punch from Monday. The wheelchair starts careening down the ramp and his eyes bug out until Cesaro and Swagger catch him. We even see a clip of Show’s punch from RAW. Still looks unprovoked and ridiculous. We cut back to ringside where Colter has a mic. Colter says he’s hurting and in pain, thanks to a big bully named The Big Show. Colter says he hopes Brock Lesnar treats Show the same way he treated him. Colter then does the “WE! THE PEOPLE!”. Their opponents, The Usos, make their way out next to “So Close Now” after the Siva Tau ritual.
- Jon’s Thoughts: Colter was hilarious here and the wheelchair spot at the beginning had me, erm, rolling (it really is the best word so whatever f*ck it). WWE trying to sell Show hitting a senior citizen for no reason as funny though is stupid and no one with a brain should agree with that.
—–
Match #5: The Usos (Jimmy & Jey Uso) Vs. The Real Americans (Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro) [w/ Zeb Colter]
The Usos are wearing a bunch of tape due to the effects of the cage match on Monday. Jimmy and Swagger start. Swagger gets the advantage early, throwing Jimmy into the heel corner. Cesaro tags in and stomps Jimmy in the taped ribs before hitting the running shoulderblock to the midsection. Cesaro follows up with a European uppercut then tags Swagger back in. Swagger aims his knee strikes at Jimmy’s ribs then tags Cesaro back in who kicks right at them. Quick tag back to Swagger. Jimmy fights out of the corner but gets sent to the corner during a tag attempt. Cesaro tags in and Swagger launches him into Jimmy in the corner. Awesome. Cesaro covers Jimmy for a 2-count. Cesaro connects with a series of strikes to the ribs, concluding with a kick. They are in control as we go to commercial.
-Commercial Break-
Jimmy tries for a tag but Cesaro stops him, sending him to the mat, then applies the GIANT SWING for 10 revolutions. Colter gets dizzy watching it. Swagger tags in and hits Jimmy with a belly-to-belly slam, covering for the 1…2…kickout. Swagger applies a front facelock. Cole tries to call Colter’s toughness in question by mocking his wheelchair. Dick. Jimmy fights both Real Americans off then hits Cesaro with a top-rope Whisper in the Wind. Jey gets the hot tag and floors Swagger with back to back clotheslines followed by a midsection clothesline and right hand. Swagger reverses an Irish whip but eats a shoulderblock. Jey hits Swagger with the corner butt bomb and covers for the 1…2…kickout.
Jey attempts a superkick but Swagger catches it. Jey ducks a clothesline attempt and hits a Samoan drop for the 1…2…Cesaro breaks it up. Cesaro kicks Jimmy off the apron and Jey clotheslines him out to the floor. Swagger slaps on the PATRIOT LOCK to Jey, keeping him in the center of the ring. Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick. Cesaro runs in and he and Jimmy fight to the outside, Cesaro hiding behind Colter. Colter trips Jimmy and he and Cesaro high five. Jimmy sends Cesaro into the barricade then turns to the injured Colter. BOOOOOOOO. Jimmy grabs the wheelchair and rams him right into Cesaro. Jey takes Swagger out with an electric chair then tags in Jimmy who hits Swagger with a SUPERFLY SPLASH for the 1…2…3!
Winners [via Pinfall]: The Usos (6:08 shown)
- Jon’s Thoughts: A paint by numbers match with a comedy spot featuring Colter thrown in (which I admittedly smiled at, even if the thought of the good guys taking advantage of weak old people makes my blood boil). Entertaining but forgettable.
Post-Match: The Usos celebrate while The Real Americans check on their fallen compadre.
—–
-Commercial Break-
—–
CM Punk Calls Out The Shield & The New Age Outlaws
“Cult of Personality” brings out CM Punk for the final segment of the episode (FINALLLLLY). He’s dressed to wrestle which is strange since he’s not wrestling. Put on some pants, Punk! The music dies down and a “CM PUNK” chant immediately breaks out. Punk says he’s not out here because he’s a masochist, he’s out here because he’s not a coward…like The Authority. Punk says he’s also not an idiot, although it might seem like he is because he’s ready to call out five tough S.O.B.s. Punk says it doesn’t matter what he does or who he calls out because The Authority will do everything in their power to shut him up. Punk says when he talks people listen and that’s real power. Punk circles the ring with the mic to soak in the cheers and chants from the crowd.
Punk says when he says Authority he specifically means Triple H, a man who lucked into a position of power and uses said power to crush anyone under his oppressive heel in an attempt to feed his massive ego and personal agenda. Punk says Triple H is somebody who hides behind his wife…and The Shield.
“Special Op” plays out The Shield. The trio make their way through the crowd. They surround the ring as “Oh You Didn’t Know” plays out The New Age Outlaws. All five men climb the apron and Punk arms himself with the mic. Before anything can happen out comes Kane. Kane yells at the five men to stand down, and stand down they do. Kane gets in the ring and says The Authority doesn’t want it this way. Kane says Punk’s anger is misplaced and his paranoia is getting the better of him. Kane says The Authority want him to main event Wrestlemania which is why they entered him into the Royal Rumble match. Kane says his top directive is to make sure Punk is treated justly and with the respect he deserves…and that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Kane gives Punk his word then leaves the ring.
Punk tells Kane’s word used to mean something but it doesn’t now that it comes out of a 7 foot tall sellout suck-up. Kane turns and stares at him angrily. Kane says “GET ‘EM BOYS” and the five climb the apron again. Kane then runs into the ring and chokeslams Punk. Kane stands over Punk as his theme song plays and the show concludes.
- Jon’s Thoughts: Really good segment to end the show, adding a wrinkle to the impending Punk/Triple H feud. I’m getting more invested into the impending Punk/Triple H storyline than I expected to be, and Kane’s involvement increases the interest even further since he’s finally going to be doing something. Feels like he’s just been background fodder since turning corporate, a definite dropping of the ball of WWE’s part not to capitalize on such an abrupt and interesting character change.
*****
Overall Show Thoughts
The closing segment and Bray Wyatt’s promo were great, and there were some bright spots in a few matches here and there, but overall this Smackdown felt like it took forever to end. The matches weren’t bad (save for the opening contest, but that’s probably because of my bias) but they weren’t interesting either and the few storyline-continuing nuggets weren’t enough to warrant investing my time into both hours of the show. WWE probably has the important clips up on YouTube, go check those out instead. It’ll be quicker.
—–
Stay in the know by following PW Update on Twitter or “liking” the site on Facebook. You can also follow Jon on Twitter if human interaction is more your style.
Pro Wrestling Update 