Archive of PWUpdate.net (2013-2014)

Before WrestleMania XXX goes down, WWE Network will be airing a two-hour pre-show to further hype the biggest event of the year and it will also feature The Usos defending their Tag Team Championship against three other teams.

*****

-WWE Signature-

—–

VIDEO: WrestleMania XXX music video set to that awful Kid Rock song.

—–

VIDEO: Triple H & Stephanie McMahon reveal the WrestleMania XXX arena (taped and shown on Friday).

—–

We pan the outside of the arena, then inside as fans slowly file in. We cut to the panel area where Josh Matthews is standing by with Mick Foley (cheap pop included), Booker T, and Shawn Michaels (who wasn’t scheduled so he admits to being unprepared). Everyone is super pumped and oh my god WrestleMania has survived against the naysayers! Matthews hypes the Fatal Four Way for the WWE Tag Team Championship to come in the second hour. Booker T hypes The Real Americans potentially walking out as new champs, Foley agrees and says it’s Cesaro‘s time this weekend, and Michaels wonders if the team can work through their issues. Foley says Zeb Colter told him his boys are prepared. We cut to Renee Young in the social media lounge, letting us know about relevant hashtags. She then reads some tweets, including one from tonight’s social media ambassador Hugh Jackman from yesterday.

—–

Back to the panel and they talk about the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal. HBK says the key to the thing is not get thrown out of the match, sarcastically of course.

—–

WM XXX HYPE VIDEO: John Cena Vs. Bray Wyatt

—–

Matthews asks HBK if Wyatt can beat Cena. HBK thinks he can because he’s got Cena thinking about his legacy and he’s distracted. He’s interrupted by the Wyatt jump cut and we go The Wyatt Family. Luke Harper whistles for a bit before Bray Wyatt walks in. He says he’s done a lot of terrible things to good people, and goes into a story about how he hurt someone considered a brother because he was reckless and a danger to everyone around him. Wyatt says he could have saved his friend, all he had to do was reach his hand out, but instead he watched him walk right into the fire. Wyatt says the flames were so beautiful, then tells Cena to think about that; if he was able to do that to someone he loved, imagine what he’s going to do to “someone like you”. Wyatt sings “he’s got the whole world in his hands”, crazy eyes a buggin’. Wyatt laughs and walks off, Harper and Erick Rowan staring until the Wyatt cut plays them off. AWESOME. WICKED AWESOME.

—–

VIDEO: WM XXX commercial, focusing on Taker/Lesnar.

—–

Back to the panel where they shill some energy drink or something. HBK says he thinks Wyatt is in Cena’s head. Foley regales us with a story about his match with HBK and how he thought he could win by getting into his head (IYH: Mind Games in 1996). Foley says Wyatt is a darker, meaner, and more gifted version of what he was.

—–

WM XXX HYPE VIDEO: Undertaker Vs. Brock Lesnar, complete with Paul Heyman’s transcendent sell of the match and of Lesnar’s potential ability to end the Streak.

—–

The panel talks about the Streak. HBK says Lesnar might have a shot as the timing is good since the last five Taker matches have worn the Deadman down. Foley says he’s going to sit in the crowd with his kids to watch this match because he wants to witness history. We cut backstage to Byron Saxton, who’s standing outside the locker room of Brock Lesnar. He knocks on the door and Paul Heyman immediately stops him. Heyman says that’s not a good idea and asks Saxton to address questions to him. Heyman takes over, saying Lesnar is prepared to break the Streak, then sells WM XXX as everyone’s chance to see the Streak conquered live by BRAWK LESSSSNAR. Heyman stares Saxton down and Saxton takes it back to the panel.

Matthews asks the panel what it’s like to waiting on the Taker. HBK says it’s fun to take it all in. Foley says the air on his arm would stand up when Taker made his entrance. Booker says it was 30 degrees cooler when Taker walked out against him. HBK says it’s great until you actually have to wrestle him.

—–

VIDEO: The History of WrestleMania in a quick nutshell.

—–

Alex Riley is outside the Superdome. He talks with a kid fan who likes Daniel Bryan’s beard and takes a selfie. We then take it back to Renee Young in the social media lounge. She reads tweets predicting the finish of the ATG battle royal.

—–

Shots of the Superdome filling up, then we go to the panel where NFL player Shawne Merriman has joined the group. He talks about his favorite WM moments. HBK’s favorite WM moment is Savage/Steamboat from WM III. 

—–

VIDEO: Daniel Bryan’s long journey from NXT rookie to potential WM main eventer, and how Triple H has been a thorn in his side since screwing him over at Summerslam 2013.

—–

Tom Phillips is backstage with Daniel Bryan. Bryan says he will be in two matches or go down trying. Bryan says he’s lost a lot of respect of Triple H as a human, but still has some for him as a competitor. Bryan’s kind of strength doesn’t come from lifting weights, it comes from the people. He says he owes it to them to beat Triple H then win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Bryan says tonight is his night and the people’s night. THIS IS OUR NIGHT, THIS IS OUR MOMENT and he promises not to let them down. Oh god he’s gonna lose, isn’t he?

—–

Back to the panel Merriman says Bryan/Triple H is gonna be one of the most emotional passionate matches of the night. HBK says it was great watching Triple H succeed, and Bryan is on the same road.

—–

VIDEO: The Bella Twins teach us how to download the WWE Network. I’m currently watching this on the WWE Network so I find this pretty funny (I know it’s being broadcast on other channels right now though, so I’ll let it go).

—–

Hype for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship main event. Merriman talks about butterflies and yadda yadda. HBK says you can’t prepare for “last minute”, which Orton and Batista has to do. They then talk about Cena/Wyatt for some reason.

—–

VIDEO: Booker T interviews Batista. He takes a swipe at having to return in Dayton, OH of all places which made me smile.

—–

The panel discuss about the triple threat main event. HBK says there’s no advantage for anyone in a match like that. Booker says Daniel Bryan wants it more than anyone else. Shawne Merriman is trending on Twitter. We segue to the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, and a video of security guards loading in the trophy into an armored truck. I WANT IT. I WANT IT SO BAD. Back live Merriman is picking Rey Mysterio to win. Booker picks Kofi Kingston (who lost to Heath Slater on Superstars this week!). HBK plays it safe by picking The Big Show.

—–

VIDEO: Hulk Hogan is back in the WWE.

—–

The panel talk about Hulk Hogan and how awesome Hulk Hogan is. Matthews thanks Merriman for joining them then says it’s time to wrap up hour 1. Hour 2 is exclusive to the WWE Network and there will be a fatal four way match included! Matthews signs off from the rest of the outlets and here we go to hour 2.

—–

After some awkward silence Matthews says it’s now hour 2 of the WrestleMania XXX pre-show. We pan the crowd inside of the arena. Hype for the fatal four way Tag Team Championship match. Matthews introduces the newest member of the panel, Jimmy Hart (Book and HBK are still there). They talk about the tag team match and Booker once again professes that The Real Americans will win. Hart also thinks so. Cut to Renee Young in the social media lounge, then signs off after highlighting Hugh Jackman‘s lone WM tweet.

—–

VIDEO: Andre The Giant mini-retrospective, meant to help showcase how important the ATG Memorial Battle Royal is going to be. Does a good job, I’m hyped for it.

—–

We see video from “Moments Ago”, where the security guards and Andre buddy Tim White bringing the ATG Memorial trophy into the stadium. HBK still thinks The Big Show will win.

—–

WM XXX HYPE VIDEO: Daniel Bryan Vs. Triple H

—–

My PS3 just glitched a bit and now that I’m back live the audio is horrible. I’m talking DGUSA-quality. The audio quality is actually bad all-around. Hmm. We go back to the panel and now Alex Riley is part of the pre-show panel. My Twitter feed just groaned in unison. I like him though. I’m too distracted to really pay attention to what they’re talking about and I’m sorry for that. Lilian Garcia makes her entrance and the crowd goes wild. Looks like we’re getting a match soon!

—–

VIDEO: Michael Cole interviews John Cena

—–

Jerry Lawler has just made his entrance in the background as the panel discuss Cena/Wyatt.

—–

FEUD RECAP: Shield Vs. NAO & Kane

—–

Cut backstage to The Shield. Dean Ambrose says all he cares about is Kane and The New Age Outlaws bringing their absolute best tonight so they can feel the pain of knowing their best isn’t good enough against The Shield. Seth Rollins says they know what Kane & NAO are capable of but tonight when the old dies out and the new rises up they will make them a part of the Shield’s history. Roman Reigns says they’re the future and they do their Shield fist pose.

—–

-Commercial Break-

—–

Trish Stratus has joined the pre-show panel. She says it felt natural and right to induct Lita last night at the brilliantly crazy Hall Of Fame ceremony. Because there’s a woman now they talk about the Vickie Guerrero Diva Invitational. Stratus says it’s time for a change and says AJ better watch her back.

—–

We cut to the ring where Michael Cole quickly welcomes us before Zeb Colter leads everyone in a “WE! THE PEOPLE!” chant. The Real Americans make their way out for the “Fatal Four Way ELIMINATION match”. Glitchy video but the audio cleared up. Cole, JBL, and Jerry Lawler are shown at the announce table. They are super excited. Ryback & Curtis Axel are the second team out, both men’s theme music mixed together ewwww. Los Matadores are third out, along with El Torito. The final team, Tag Champs The Usos, do their Siva Tau thing which is mic’ed horribly.

—–

1. Fatal Four Way (Elimination Rules): The Usos (Jimmy & Jey Uso) (c) Vs. The Real Americans (Jack Swagger & Cesaro) [w/ Zeb Colter] Vs. RybAXEL (Curtis Axel & Ryback) Vs. Los Matadores (Fernando y Diego) [w/ El Torito] for the WWE Tag Team Championship

Jey Uso takes Curtis Axel down with a side headlock. Both Usos have chest tattoos now so I have no idea how to tell them apart anymore. Axel and Jey trade chops, the latter winning the war. Axel tries to tag in a Real American but they both jump off the apron to avoid it. Axel ducks a clothesline, leapfrogs Jey, then hits a running dropkick. Ryback tags in and repeatedly pushes around Jey. Jey gets in some shots but gets taken down with a big boot off the Irish whip. Diego tags himself in, and Jey rolls him up for 2. Jimmy tags in but they miss the double elbowdrop. Diego with back to back chops, stops Jey, does the Ole, then ducks a clothesline and connects with a midsection savate kick. Fernando tags in and they hit TOTAL ELIMINATION on Jey for a 2-count. Fernando with an armbar. Jey escapes and Cesaro tags himself in to the joy of the crowd. Cesaro whips Fernando into the corner and tags into Swagger, hitting their double team moves for 2. Swagger with a back suplex but Fernando flips out and hits Swagger with a springboard back splash. Fernando hits a springboard splash.

Swagger goes for a powerbomb but Fernando takes him out with a hurricanrana. Cesaro charges and is also sent out, as is Ryback. Fernando takes out The Usos as well. Los Matadores take flight and splash, the host of bodies on the ground. Torito climbs to the top but Axel grabs him and throws him in the ring. Axel yells that it’s his time then climbs to the top. Los Matadores climb up and put him on their shoulders. Torito then splashes him, and they all tumble into the rest of the teams. THIS IS AMAZING. Fernando, I think, heads to the top but Swagger climbs up and sends him face-first into the mat. Swagger applies the PATRIOT LOCK and Fernando taps. Los Matadores have been eliminated.

Swagger turns around into Jey Uso (I THINK), who levels Swagger with rights. Swagger ducks a spin kick and applies the PATRIOT LOCK. Jey rolls through and sends him into the ropes. Axel tags in and levels Jey with a running knee to the skull. Ryback tags in and lifts up Jey for the delayed vertical suplex for the 1…2…kickout. Ryback with a scoop slam and climbs to the second rope, tagging Axel. Ryback hits the Avalanche Splash then Axel follows up with a second-rope forearm for the 1…2…kickout. Axel sends Jey into Ryback’s knee then backs him in the corner. Ryback tags back in and they club Jey down in the corner, Ryback covering for a 1-count. Ryback with a series of knees to Jey’s spine, then covers for the 1…2…kickout. Ryback with a seated cobra clutch to wear Jey down. Cesaro yells that he heard Jey give up because Cesaro, like Ian always says, is a GODKING.

Jey gets to his feet but Ryback applies a front chancery, hitting him with a knee. Jey dodges the corner splash, sending him shoulder-first into the post. Jimmy tags in and takes out everybody. Jimmy with a superkick followed by another kick and a catapult Samoan drop. Jimmy follows up with the running butt splash then kicks Ryback out to the floor. Axel gets clotheslined out to the floor but Swagger runs in with a spinebuster (I guess he tagged Axel on his way out) for the 1…2…kickout. Swagger goes for the SWAGGER BOMB but eats boot. Ryback tags himself in and hits Jimmy with a spinebuster before hitting Swagger with one of his own. Ryback clubs his chest like King Kong. Ryback seats up and levels Swagger with the MEATHOOK CLOTHESLINE and yells for the finish. Ryback stacks Swagger but Cesaro grabs Swagger off and tags himself in. Ryback clotheslines Swagger then slams Cesaro in. Ryback goes for the Meathook but Cesaro responds with SWISS DEATH and THE NEUTRALIZER for the 1…2…3. RybAXEL have been eliminated.

The Usos and The Real Americans stare one another down. The Real Americans do a “WE! THE PEOPLE!” and The Usos do the “USO!” yell. All four men brawl, Usos taking the heels out to the floor. Usos hits stereo planchas as the crowd goes nuts. Cesaro ends up back in and Jimmy (maybe?) flies at Cesaro, who reverses the splash into a backbreaker for the 1…2…kickout. Jimmy counters the NEUTRALIZER with a jackknife roll-up for the 1…2…Cesaro bridges out and goes for the CESARO SWING. Jey tags in and eats a European uppercut. Jey escapes a slam and goes for a roll-up but Swagger tags himself in. Jey hits both of them with WHISPER IN THE WIND. Jey covers Swagger for the 1…2…kickout! Jey slaps on the PATRIOT LOCK, and in come Jimmy and Cesaro. Jimmy catches Swagger with a superkick, Cesaro hits him with an uppercut, Jey with a Samoan drop on Cesaro. THIS MATCH IS SO GOOD YOU GUYS.

Jimmy tags in and so does Cesaro. Jimmy ducks a kick, hits a superkick and uppercut. Jimmy sends Cesaro into Swagger then The Usos hit Cesaro with double superkicks. The Usos both climb to the top and hit Cesaro with a double splash for the 1…2…3!

Winners and STILL Tag Team Champions: The Usos (16:12)

• Jon’s Thoughts: An absolutely amazing match to start things off, and probably the best pre-show match ever. A really fun and fast-paced encounter with a great schmazz with all four teams in the early going. MOAR SPLASHES. The Usos and The Real Americans leading chants then charging into battle was a great moment. Just tremendous tremendous stuff. Should have been on the main show. (****)
  

Post-Match: Swagger yells at Cesaro, Colter tries to calm him down. Swagger applies the PATRIOT LOCK but Colter yells at him not to do it. Colter tells them to shake hands and possibly hugs. Swagger holds out his hand and the crowd boos. Cesaro shakes it…then puts SWAGGER IN THE CESARO SWIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG. Cesaro releases the hold, does his arm gun thing, and does the “WE! THE PEOPLE!” thing before leaving the ring and peacing out.

• Jon’s Thoughts: Let the Cesaro Era begin!
  

—–

Back to the pre-show panel. Stratus is still there. They talk about what just happened, then Stratus talks about inducting Lita again. She talks about Lita’s dress and how crazy it was! CRAAAAAZY BECAUSE SHE DON’T DRESS LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE GET IT? Stratus’s favorite WM moment was 18, when she competed for the Women’s Championship. Talk about the Divas Invitational and a video from 2 weeks ago on RAW where the match was first announced. Riley thinks Tamina is gonna win, as does Stratus. With 2 minutes to go the panel talk about what they’re excited about for tonight’s show. Yadda yadda, time for the show to actually start. Come join me on the recap!

*****

Enjoy the site? Follow PW Update on Twitter,“like” us on Facebook, or follow the automated Tumblr to stay up to date with everything we do on the site. If you’re feeling really frisky you can also help us keep PW Update going via PayPal Donations (top right margin of the site). For human interaction Jon is usually around on Twitter striking up conversation or rambling about…nothing, really.